Pink Chucks: "Homecoming"
Happy belated 9th birthday, Adrian Has Issues. One year ago on January 25, I had commemorated the anniversary on Instagram by saying, "We'll talk soon. Later this week, perhaps...?" At that time, my family and I had just moved into our new apartment, which signaled the end of a very rough and, dare I say, traumatic pandemic era. We found a new home. We found each other again. I was gearing up to return to recording new podcasts, writing new blogs and getting to interact with all of you with a renewed sense of stability and hope.
Life, however, moves at its own pace. I foolishly thought that I could just pick up where I had left off. I thought that it would be like riding a bike, only I never learned how to ride a bike. What I had failed to realize was that living several years under the highest levels of stress would inevitably catch up to me. Each day had become a new struggle to just be Adrian again, not just Adrian the artist/content creator. In trying to find out who I was at this current point in time, I also needed to be a better father to my stepkids. I needed to be a better partner to Eileen. I just needed to live my life and process the past four years, and unfortunately podcasting just didn't factor into any of it at that moment. That, in turn, fed the deep feelings of guilt. I had recordings that still needed to be edited and released. I had episodes of Talking Like A Teen to finish. There were so many wonderful people producing some of their best art that I would've loved to engage with, but any thought or mention of working again just shut me down. I felt awful. I felt like I was letting down so many people who had supported me with their time and energy. My decision was necessary, but rest assured it was not easy.
Building a home isn’t always easy, but it means everything…
Don't worry. It's not all bad news. The plus side about the time away is that it provided a lot of time for self-reflection. I've been doing the work of trying to figure out who I was outside of my creative output. I've ultimately come to the conclusion that I couldn't fully walk away from it. I've been extremely fortunate in the 10+ years I've been publicly creating. After spending my childhood and adolescence dreaming of this life, only to talk myself out of it time and time again, I managed to say “screw it” and carve a little niche for myself in spite of so much opposition. I'm hardly the most famous person in the world and, for the first time in my life, that doesn't bother me. I used to stress and labor over analytics and metrics. I would toil for hours and languish over this work I was doing and feel like I was going nowhere. The time away gave me a deeper appreciation for the things in life I had and even the things I didn't have... and probably didn't need. Don't get me wrong, I would love nothing more than to have my work reach as many people as they can. However, that kid who spent hours writing, drawing and studying his favorite albums as if they were holy texts wasn't thinking of Engagement or Views. He wasn't worried about reposts and replies. He had plenty of other real world issues to conquer. He was just happy to have a healthy outlet. Eventually, the internet gave him access to like-minded people who shared a similar passion. He was happy to just be seen, heard and understood.
Not bad for a kid from Paterson…
I've got to meet some of my heroes. I've made some amazing friends and professional colleagues. I've made some enemies. I've also made a lot of mistakes. I've listened to some great advice and some not-so-great advice. This past year gave me some of the best insight I'll ever receive: Nothing in life will ever work out without a strong sense of self. I know more of who I am than I ever did before. I know more of what I'll accept and put up with. I'm a person capable of giving love and receiving love. I was never those awful things I'd been told and often repeated to myself over the years. I have much to offer the world, and to anybody reading this: you do, too. That's why I want to continue to share my gifts with the world.
The work of Adrian Has Issues, Talking Like A Teen and The LatiNerd Experience was never about popularity or clout. The many years of podcasts and blogs were more than just blanket promotion. We are storytellers. It is through those stories we sought to connect with people through a mutual love of pop culture and art. That extends past comic books, music or movies. These artforms and life experiences shaped us in our formative years and continue to do so even in our current lives. They've taught us life lessons, gave us hope and can be a form of catharsis in our times of struggle.
Simply put: I was born for this.
I've looked back on the 9 years of this podcast fondly, but I also understand that a lot of things need to change regarding the format and my relationship to it. Being an open book can be a double-edged sword. The ease of access that the internet age grants us can do a lot of good but also inflict a lot of harm. I'm noticing more around me, both positive and negative, that I feel compelled to speak on in due time. I can't promise I'll always be perfect, but I'm looking to re-establishing that connection with all of you.
Before I go, I want to take a moment to thank some incredible people who've supported me through some truly unprecedented life situations. Without them, I don't know where I would be:
First and foremost, I want to thank Eileen aka “The LatiNerd.” God, what do I even say about this incredible woman? Her love, patience and understanding have been the foundation on which I've built all of this since day one. We've built so much together and I can't imagine this life without her. Thank you, darling. I love you so much. (PS - Y'all are not ready for this LatiNerd reboot... she is about to pop all the way off.)
My beautiful stepkids. Though both young in age, they are rich with a wisdom, intelligence and heart that is unparalleled. I thought that by being their father I would teach them so many things, when in fact they've taught me so much about life and family. Everything I do is for them.
My best friend Ashley aka The Fulton Reed to my Dean Portman. The Kate Bishop to my Hawkeye. The Ramsey to my Tej Parker. Her friendship means the world to me. She is the perfect blend of kindness, generosity and chaos vibes and it's an honor to be able to create Talking Like A Teen with her.
To my brother, Atlas: Without him saying “yes” to that random question back in 2013 during one of our many misadventures, I may not have ever bought those first microphones. That decision set me on this path and I’m forever grateful to him.
I also want to thank my dude Jayel Draco, the lead illustrator and co-founder of Oneshi Press. What started out as a fun podcast interview five years ago has blossomed into an incredible professional and personal friendship. Whether sharing cursed memes, brainstorming creative projects or going on deep dives into life itself he’s seen me as an equal. That means the world to me. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't even be typing this out had it not been for him. More on that soon.
Thank you to all of you for 9 years of some of the most incredible support I’ve ever received. I’ll do my best to not waste this chance. We have much to catch up on. I look forward to sharing more with you soon.
Pink Chucks is a slice of life blog chronicling the experiences of Adrian King, the host of the Adrian Has Issues Podcast.
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